Be surrounded by people gives us experiences. Be alone, the criterion.
Excluding cases in which we are obliged to share our living space (and, being aware, the vast majority are), only to live is a unique, necessary and rewarding experience. Many are those who speak of the need for the coexistence (“share is live, say), but few defend the essential that is to know living alone, being alone and walking, hand in hand, solitude (even for a time) as part of introspection and self learning.
And no, it is not selfishness, it is just the opposite.
Live with yourself is not an easy task. Have all the time in the world to look at the navel that blood is not an art. We tend to escape the loneliness as if it were a terminal illness. I’ve always said that people who can’t be alone are that alone are.
I have lived alone for many years: single or in pairs, gives the same, because the existence of a boyfriend not makes you more dependent if you do not want so either. Living alone is exciting and hard, in equal parts. These are the things I’ve learned after having lived alone.
I’ve learned to discard.
When you’re used to live, you amoldas you to anything. And that’s fine, except that you lose perspective of what you like and what not. You adapt both to the needs of everyone, that you forget about your own. It is no wonder that when you start to live alone, after many years of living together, you don’t know what you want: go invite your home to anyone wanting to be alone.
Once you post-apocalyptic you, you learn how to dismiss people causing you emotional discomfort. You reject that do not bring you joys, because being alone seems to you rather than endure any character. Before you could disallow you it.
I’ve learned to do nothing.
When I lived in couple had much in mind the wishes of the other (without going over, but yes, to end and after) and rarely went a day without doing anything. While he shared a flat with a friend, nor could let me: someone, always came, I was watching TV, or wanted him to talk. The only way of doing nothing was locked me in a room, and sometimes you want to sit on the couch and look at the ceiling.
Live alone allows you to turn everything off and be without being. And eye, sometimes be without being is to be really.
I have learned who I am and what I want to.
The moments of solitude are great to start to know yourself and form your own tastes. We are a mixture of tastes and views outside and i.e. invincible. It tries to find a healthy balance between what we take lent and what is only our.
I have learned to be more environmentally friendly.
Only when you know the price of privacy and tranquility, you start to appreciate others and to respect your time and space. You stop being so thought and already don’t take you as something personal the simple fact that don’t want someone to see you today.
I have learned that I am not as selfish as I thought.
It seems lie, but so. We are convinced that the people who do what you want is selfish people. Nothing further from the truth. Do what you want means do what go you better and it will not disturb you another. If you’re a good person, your wishes have no why do harm to no one.
Egoists are unhappy beings who are dissatisfied with their own lives and, as only focusing on that, fail to be no more. I’m not anything like that. And you, probably, neither.
And, finally, I have learned how to learn.
Learn how to solve my stuff for me alone, learn to not need someone but choose it consciously, learn my own tastes, learn to give up my space (with what it costs to do so), learn how to assess with confidence, learn how to desestresarme. Learn to be alone has nothing to do with being single, because having time to yourself is necessary regardless of your sentimental status.
In short, I’ve learned that learning is a difficult but essential work to grow and requires time and peace of mind. And, since then, still growing, alone or accompanied, single or couple.